10 reasons why you can’t solve all of life’s problem with a screwdriver.

  1. Children’s toys are screwed inside their box, as well as tied down with annoying metal and plastic strips, and sealed inside a plastic box that will cut you if you try and open it. But even if you can cut through the plastic by attacking it with your screwdriver, the screws that hold the toy down and cunningly hidden, so by the time you have liberated the toy from the box your child will be having a full blown tantrum. And then you realize you need batteries.

  2. You need to repair an electronic toy that your child has had for years and that has had way too much juice spilled on it. You unscrew it and then realize that the two parts are welded together. If you try and pull it apart it will break.

  3. Your laptop needs a quick fix, and you’ve got your screwdrivers handy. But if you take it apart, the warranty is not going to be valid. If you take it the shop that can fix it within the warranty, they will keep it for three weeks and then tell you that it cannot be repaired, because, clearly, if there’s one tiny bit that needs welding back in place, the whole motherfuckingboard needs replacing. So then you need to have it fixed by someone outside the warranty, which will cost you money. So next time you decide to do it yourself, and while opening the laptop you scrape something with your screwdriver, and then the whole thing is dead…

  4. Screwdrivers are never where they are supposed to be.

  5. If a laptop case won’t open properly, but you really need to get inside because your child has spilled juice on it, then you can try levering it open with some screwdrivers, so that you can insert an another screwdriver with a tissue wrapped around it in the place that needs drying out. But: the screwdriver will snap, in which case, you will find you have a bit of tissue and a screwdriver part loose inside your laptop.

  6. Tiny screwdrivers that are small enough to repair glasses are too small to see if your glasses are broken.

  7. Tiny screwdrivers are cute, especially when they come in a tiny pouch inside a Christmas cracker, and your children will fight you for them, especially if the Christmas cracker was theirs in the first place.

  8. If you have a screwdriver with multiple attachments, you will find that the one you need right now is missing.

  9. People look at you funny if you ask them whether they happen to have a screwdriver on them. They look at you even funnier if you happen to have one.

  10. If you don’t have a screwdriver on you, it sometimes works to use a penknife instead. Then you cut your fingers off.